It’s never going to get easier. There is never going to be a ‘Death for Dummies’ book. There is never going to be an escape plan to pain because no matter how much I try no matter how much I cry my life is never going to go back to the way it used to be, because I know I can’t just shut the door and hope everything disappears. I know that I can’t stop myself from hoping that you will one day walk in the front door and smile as if nothing happened. I know that there will be days that it will be hard to get out of bed and look people in the eye and lie when they ask how I am. I know that its going to hurt for the rest of my life and that I will always cry, but I also know that you’re in heaven now and your away from all of the pain and everything is better for you now. We attach ourselves so strongly to people that when they’re gone, a part of us is gone too.

You left before I had a chance to say goodbye, but that’s the way life usually is–it just passes you by. But you can’t hold on to regrets and you can’t look back, so I’ll just be thankful for the times that I had with you.