In case you hadn’t heard, the economy is in worse shape than Artie Lange. So it shouldn’t come as a total shock if your boyfriend, husband, or dude-you’re-kinda-seeing-but-don’t-know-what-to-call-him gets a pink memo.
Ease the pain by avoiding the following NSFAGWOOW (Not Safe For A Guy Who’s Out Of Work) phrases. That way you won’t make things worse for a guy who’s already had a horrible week ego-wise.
10. “Oh my god! What are we gonna do?”
For starters, let’s not freak out. Right now your guy needs support, not another fire to put out, and losing your cool is only going to make things worse.
Dude, he just got the ax — making him highlight his incompetence by explaining why is like kicking him in the head with your hooker boots.
8. “You better start looking … “
… for a new job, or a more supportive girlfriend?
7. “Great, now I’m gonna have to work twice as hard.”
Perfect. That means you’ll have half as much time to make us feel like crap.
6. “(Insert friend’s boyfriend’s name) just got a job.”
Really? His girlfriend must be so proud.
5. “Here’s what we’re gonna do … “
We already feel a crippling loss of control in our own lives. Don’t amplify that insecurity by trying to take over.
4. “Maybe I could get you a job at my father’s company.”
Thanks for the offer. Does his desk have a place for our balls and dignity?
3. “It’s no big deal.”
Your heart is in the right place — cool and collected. But this may come across as aloof and indifferent. Rather than lack of interest, offer support and compassion.
2. “A lot of people are losing their jobs.”
Yeah, but those people are all not us. Job-loss statistics (just like miracle-diet and Thighmaster statistics) are pretty meaningless until you become one of them.
1. “Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.”
Give us a healthy day of self-loathing and moping around before you part the clouds and start looking for the rainbow. Remember, misery loves company (and cheer-up sex).