There is nothing that damages relationships so regularly as that on part in all of us that cannot move on. Nothing else comes close. So often, in our lives – contrary to what we want – we damage and even cause the end of relationships with partners, friends, relatives, and co-workers. When anything negatives enters the relationship – a disagreement, an unkind word, a perceived slight – there is a part in all of us that cannot move forward, unless that bad feeling is completely removed, unless whatever was negative gets completely resolved.

As a result, instead of moving on and allowing time and distance to lay the hurt to rest, we persist and make it worse.

This need not to let go is so much a part of us, so deep and so powerful, that despite the way it often hurts, it controls much of how we choose to act. It develops it own voice. It is a voice that learns to fool the more logical part of us – our mature self – with excuses why we cannot, should not, let go of an argument. We believe that false reasons are good, right, correct, what we must do. But they are not correct at all. They are the primitive urgings of that part of us whose only want, whose unvarying demand, is to get its way; unless it dos, it will never move on. So for what we invariably thing are valid reasons, we create unnecessary problems.


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