The Baby Self

It is part of being human. Only when you accept it, can you see its hand, its influence behind so much of how you think. It sits at the core of a universe that exists only to fulfill its needs. It genuinely does not understand that others could exist in their own right and have legitimate needs as well. The baby self in us genuinely does not understand that others’ needs have any validity or relevance.

It exists only in the now. This is why arguing with one can be so frustrating. It can recall its past, but it owns none of it. It wants everything. It craves not just what it needs, but all it can get. it does not know the meaning of “some” or “enough.”

Because the baby self lacks self-awareness, many common human emotions are simply not part of its repertoire: shame, guilt, embarrassment, and pride.

The baby elf’s sole concern – in childhood, but in adult life, too – is htat it must feel at all times connected to its main source of love and security. The baby self hates being alone more than anything else. Aloneness, vulnerability, is exclusively the domain of the mature self. Aloneness, above all else, is the enemy of the baby self. Unfortunately, in many real-life situations this plan does not work so well.

What is wrong with us? it is the hardest thing about being an adult. There are times where we truly must be on our own.

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