It's not all honey and roses

This isn’t supposed to happen to smart women. We want to believe that unwed mothers are teenagers who have been careless or clueless. It’s easier to coalesce around this idea that it’s not good for teenagers to get pregnant. It’s not as clear what pregnancy means for the life of a woman in her 20s.

For some women, surprise motherhood ends up being the blessing of a lifetime. Others choose abortion with no regrets. But the high rate of unintended pregnancy remains distressing because “it suggests that women are not as in control of their sexuality and childbearing as we would hope.”

Hollywood would have us believe a surprise pregnancy is practically romantic. Such happiness is not the most likely script among the not-so-famous. Twenty somethings often do not know what is going to happen next in their life, period.

Unplanned pregnancies are at higher risk for complications, both for the woman and the fetus or newborn. It’s not that the children are automatically unloved. It’s that the environment they’re born into has more stresses.

I was so lost. I just didn’t see a future for us. There was so much baggage. Now we’re having a baby. How could this be?

I suppose the moral of the story is this… you don’t want to be with a partner just because you are having his kid. If he doesn’t treat you with respect and sensitivity, do you honestly want him around? Do you want your child growing up believing that this attitude is normal? You are never going to be alone.. cause you have your baby who will always love you unconditionally.

Whatever issues he has with you having his child, they are his to own and not yours. Embrace your pregnancy. Live your life. Show your baby that life is full of exciting opportunities to be happy – not sad because another person chose another path. The father of your baby will have to live with his decision, but you don’t have to. Life should always be celebrated!

If the father chooses to be part of this baby’s life later on then so be it, but I am not about to stop my life because he has issues. You are only pregnant for 9 months.. make every day count!!


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