my path

After leaving him, I couldn’t bear to look at them. I would see the pictures and tuck them away, back into their hiding places. I made myself save them so Jaden could have them. So, that one day when he has questions upon questions and wants to “see” that his parents were truly in love at a moment in time, for the reason of creating him – he’ll see that he was a product of something beautiful.

And fortunately, for him, he never witnessed what came after that day. Now, a year later, I can look at the pictures. Hold them in my hand. Bring them closer for inspection. I look at the girl who thought she was a woman in the photos. I remember exactly what I was thinking, too.

“This is forever. I will be with this man forever and although I’m scared as shit about that, I love him and love is enough.”

I don’t call myself foolish. I don’t even feel any shame for making such poor judgment. In that moment I followed my gut which was steering me down the path I’m on now.

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